Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
