U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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