New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
