I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
