So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my being single is dangerous.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
