i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
