She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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