I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
