Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
