Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
