in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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