just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
