My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
