He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
