New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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