I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
