I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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