i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
