Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
