please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
