do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
