i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
