I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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