we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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