my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
