I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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