Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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