he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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