Can Purell be used as lube?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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