Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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