Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
