I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
