I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
