i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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