I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
