I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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