The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
