i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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