wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
