I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
