Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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