school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
