I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You pole danced in your parka.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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