remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
