so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
