that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
