ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
