Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
