ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
