I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
