I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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