Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
