By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
